Relationships matter. Commitments matter. And when the most important relationship in your life begins to fall apart, it can leave you feeling sad, hopeless, and overwhelmed.
You May Relate If:
- you barely talk with your partner
- when you talk, you and your partner bicker — often about the same thing
- you feel there are some things you just can’t talk to your partner about
- you are currently having, or are contemplating having, an affair
- you withhold financial information from your partner — purchases, investments, bank accounts
- you believe everything will be okay if your partner “just changes”
- your needs for intimacy and affection are not being met in the relationship
- you want to make the relationship work
Understanding Couples Counselling
There are many reasons for relationships falling on tough times:
- financial stress
- physical, mental, or emotional illness
- infidelity (emotional or physical, in-person or online)
- life transitions
- job loss
- blending of families
- changing of values
As a result, intimacy and trust can be replaced by distance and betrayal. Ongoing conflict deteriorates the friendship and respect that may have once been the foundation of your relationship. It can become difficult to even know one’s self in the midst of so much hurt and anger.
Couples counselling can help you:
- communicate with each other more effectively
- learn how to resolve conflict and “fight fair”
- rebuild friendship, intimacy, and trust in your relationship
- find a way to forgive after betrayal and hurt
- explore the values, hopes, and dreams that shape your expectations of your relationship
- find clarity and hope for your future together
Whatever’s brought you here, counselling can be a non-judgmental space to look at it honestly, and find out what’s possible from here.
Our Therapeutic Approaches
We draw on a range of evidence-based approaches, grounded in a flexible, collaborative, and client-centred way of working that adapts to what is most helpful for the two of you. Learn more about our approach to care.
Gottman Method
The Gottman Method is the most widely recognized evidence-based couples approach, drawn from over four decades of research on what makes relationships work. It looks at the specific patterns that strengthen relationships (turning toward each other, repair attempts, fondness and admiration) and the patterns that erode them (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling). The work is practical — you leave sessions with tools.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
EFT is the other major evidence-based couples approach. It works with the emotional and attachment patterns underneath conflict — the longings, the fears of disconnection, the protective reactions. When couples can see what’s actually happening underneath the surface argument, fights start to shift.
Attachment-Based Therapy
Attachment-based work pays attention to how each of you learned to connect — what felt safe, what didn’t, what patterns you brought into this relationship. Understanding your attachment style and your partner’s helps make sense of where you keep getting stuck.
Narrative Therapy
Narrative therapy pays attention to the stories you each carry — about this relationship, about love and partnership, about who you are together. Externalizing problems (rather than locating them in each other) often shifts what feels possible.
Solution-Focused Therapy
Solution-focused work is practical and goal-oriented. It’s helpful when you want to move forward quickly rather than spending a lot of time on origins. It focuses on what’s working, what you want more of, and the small steps that get you there.
If you’re considering couples counselling, that already means something. Whether you’re trying to repair what’s broken or figure out what comes next, we can help.
Engaged? We also offer pre-marriage counselling — see our pre-marriage counselling page for more.
Meet Some of Our Counsellors Who Work With Couples
Allison Paré
Warren Tews
Jean-Luc Roy
Eskay Ilori
Amy Wolgemuth
Kerry Bezzanno
Webinars on This Topic
Frequently Asked Questions About Anxiety Counselling
Usually yes — the work happens between you, so both being in the room is how the work gets done. Sometimes a single individual session can be useful at certain points, but the bulk of the work is together.
Couples counselling has helped many relationships repair real damage — including after infidelity, after long periods of disconnection, after major ruptures. It works best when both partners are willing to engage honestly with the work. It doesn’t work to drag a reluctant partner along.
Therapists are trained to hold both of your perspectives and not align with one against the other. Even when there’s been hurt or betrayal, the work is about understanding both of you and what’s possible going forward.
It varies. Some couples see meaningful shifts in 8-12 sessions. Others use longer-term support, particularly when there’s significant repair work or longstanding patterns to address. Your therapist will talk with you about what makes sense as you go.
Couples counselling can hold that question, too. Some couples come in trying to decide. The work then is often about getting clear and understanding what’s actually true between you and what’s possible, so that the decision, whatever it is, comes from a clearer place.